Wednesday, April 3, 2013

My mothers hands...

There are a million other things I should be doing right now... I have to teach a cooking class in an hour and a half and *shocking* I didn't finish my cleaning / re-organization project of the day. But... I just went to frech braid my hair to keep it out of my face for class tonight and was hit with a wave of nostalgia. I can remember being young and my mom forcing me into one of the dining room chairs to try and french braid my hair out of my face so I could go and play. I can remember how ruff her hand felt and how she would recklessly rake the comb through my hair. I can remember strands of my hair catching in the cracks of her hands and yelling at her for hurting me. I remember how ruff her hands were and how I hated the way they felt. I dreaded those braiding sessions so much in fact that my mom let me cut all of my long golden locks off in an attempt to avoid the inevitable argument of another french braiding session. Now I look back and have a sense of respect,admiration and pride. Her hands were ruff and cracked from working in the garden all day, from hauling wood and water. Her hands are a map of the life that her and my dad built for me, for us. A road map of accomplished dreams; dreams that were accomplished with hard work and sacrifice. My mothers hands tell the story of her life, of the hardships she faced and the blood, sweat and tears she shed to give me a childhood I was never grateful for. Looking down at my hands now I see a very different map. My hands are scared but soft from the warm water of the dish pan. They are marred from years in the kitchen, from sharp knives being carelessly wielded, oils spills and hot sauté pans. My hands are nothing like my mothers. My hands dont display years of hard work in the sun. There is no dirt under my fingernails and my knuckles are soft and supple. My hands are not my mothers.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Sunrisa

La palabra del dia hoy es: sunrisa... ella tiene una bonita sunrisa....

confession. I stole that from the website of the Spanish school where I've been taking classes in Panama City.

for some reason.. seeing that first thing this morning put a smile on my face.... well it was probably a combination of that and the two hundred dollar meal that I had bought for me last night...

its funny when things like that happen.. Bri and I were searching for a table on the patio in the Plaza Catedral and these guys offered to have us join them. They then proceeded to order very expensive wine and we ate food left and right and chatted for hours... Turns out the own Bocas Bound and Red Frog Resort in Bocas Del Toro. Funny how small of a country this is.... They were hysterical and we had a great dinner. I love when funny and amazing situations happen like that... It always reminds me how small the world is and how important it is to always keep your ears open!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Busy in Panama

Things here have been busy! I have been wrapped up enjoying summer, rolling sushi and taking Spanish classes! Yes, that's right, you heard me. I'm making an effort to actually be able to communicate in the country that I live in! A shocking revelation! I just started classes but I think it is going to help a lot! I need to remember to write down all the questions I have. I want so bad to be fluent and I wont't get there without work! So four hours of classes a week here I come! I realized I haven't been in school in almost 3 years now! Seems like a long time. I was just reminiscing the other day about how this was my 6th year out of high school! Time just flies by. I'm scared that if I blink I'll be thirty.
There is so much I want to accomplish and so much I want to do with my life. I suppose it's time to put all my devious plans into action! I have a few very hectic weeks and then my mini vacation to Chicago and then I've got to come back and buckle down and put my plans into action. I need to move into a bigger better apartment but I am scared to make the commitment. It will nearly wipe out my savings so move into a place. However, if I could have some kind of stable income established. I think I'd be OK! Time to make some decisions. Not my strong suit, but I have to make a decision about my future here in Panama!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Coffee, Rain and Mountains

The last week and change has flown bye in a frenzy of awesomness.....

I partied my face of in panama city and met so many amazing people...

I drove to Portobello; an amazing tiny carribean town abut 2 hours away from Panama City. And detoxed for a few days.... I went kayaking, line fishing and watched the stars while ligntening cracked in the distance...

I partied some more in Panama City and finally managed to escape to the mountain town of Boquette. We stopped at Las Lajas on the way and slept in grass huts on the beach... The beach there was quite possibl the longest beach I´ve ever seen... At least 15 kilometers.... And when the tide was out it was about 100 meters of sand... But when the tide came in it came all the way up onto our cememt porch..

Boquete is beautiful.. tucked into the mountains surrounded by jungle.. I went for a run today in the rain and it was amazing.. I think I have a little bit of lung/throat thing going on but i feel amazing...

We have been traveling with this guy, named Johnnie, in an 84 suburban.... He´s rad as hell.. We also picked up two great girls from LA... It´s nice to have a car and a group of people...

I am so in love with everything down here.. I feel complete.. I have met so many great people and had so much fun.. I feel like this is what life is supposed to be about.. this is my niche.. i really want to live here... i think i can make this possible..

i was kayaking in the carribean sunset and i had this revelation.. i can work and work and work all my life.. but then when my life comes to an end i will be full of regrets.. i am always trying to make plans and lists and figure out the next 10 years of my life on paper.. my mom always tells me to live for the day... i think its time i start to take her advice...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Monsoon Weather

Last night and the combination of today have been perfect... This is what life should be like.. This is what I have been waiting for....

I have met so many amazing and hospitable people here.. Just truly amazing!

We slept late this morning and I sipped coffee on the balcony and played with this adorable puppy named rica: she belongs to the great guy named johnny that i met here in the hostel. I made spaghetti for me and bri and a bunch of the boys and then we ventured down to the fish market...

We bought a giant 15 lb tuna for 25 dollars.. it is beautiful.... We also bought 3 lbs on head on shrimp.. I'm going to cook for everyone tonight... well not everyone but a few hollanders, 3 americans and an austrailian.. He might not really be australian but fuck who can keep track...

After we left the fish market a few of us headed to the grocery store to pick up stuff for me to cook with and we got stuck in an insane downpour.. it usually only lasts like 30 minutes but this one came with booming thunder and amazing lightening.... We ran through the rain back to the hostel and I was literally pruny; you know what i mean, when your fingers get all wrinkely. The damage was done so we went for a walk and got some ice cream and screwed around for a while....

The rain has finally subsided.... Maybe it's time to get in the kitchen.... I'm already sad that another day has passed.. I don't ever want to leave...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Swanky or Slum????

Panama city has been a little hard for me swallow... It's great and beautiful and romantic.. But in a odd way...

The roofs of the building are covered in a hodge-podge of multi colored tin. Starving cats and dogs litter the streets and stairwells. There is garbage everywhere... The occasion ally will be completely packed... The water in the "port area" is a filthy muddy brown and smells foul.

The people that wander the streets are dressed in brand new nikes and pumas, in pressed jeans and polos.... Most women have knockoff designer handbags...

The restaurants are either adorable with fun artwork adorning the walls and air conditioning or filthy with flies everywhere and food littering the floor.. An example: today for lunch we ate at a little place around the corner from the hostel that everyone reccomended. It was 12 dollars for both of our lunches but the place was filthy and hot.. For dinner we walked the oppiste direction and ate at an art gallery for 18 for the both of us and we had amazing meals in air conditioning...

You just never know what you're going to get... We are headed to the carribean tomorrow.. Passing through a little town called Colon.. I'm pretty aprehensive because i have read lots of stories about being being robbed at knife point in broad daylight near the bus station. However, we are taking the glass train to colon and then directly to Puertobello. A small remote carribean beach town.. There is an island off the coast called isal grande where we plan to stay one night... I've heard the beaches are amazing and everything is cheaper than in the city.. I'm ready for a little quite and some beach time...

And the rain falls down....

Bri and I discovered the gloriousness (i don't think that's an acual word) of the fan the faces my bed last night... if you lay with you head right next to it... it almost keeps you cool...

the humidity is ten times worse today because of the torential down pour... it seemingly came out of no where.. the sky was slightly clear this morning and in the time it took us to get ready the rain had set it...

the city is just as romantic in daylight... a small balcony lays no more than four feet from me and from it i can see the water and downtown and then to the right the steeples of a church.... i hope the rain eases up so we can go adventure but if it doesn't im sucking it up and gettin' wet...

i think we might leave the city tomorrow.. head to the carribean and then head maybe head west to the mountains...